Daycare Sannin!
by Insanity rise
Summary: What will happen when Orochimaru and Jiraiya end up watching a class of kids for a day? Will they be able to survive the crazy antics of these children, will Orochimaru be able to stand his comrades rambling? read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

**Insanity rise: YEAH! Whoa…I've got to take a break from my other stuff, its becoming very overwhelming, and its already Monday! NOOOOO! School starts in 6 days! NOOOOO! I can't believe it! Anyway, about this story. This is something I wrote to relieve some building tension. It's completely random and dedicated to the new character I have found myself liking! JIRAIYA! Oh my gosh he's hilarious. This idea was thought up by as usual, Anniepopokios and me. You see, last Sunday we had to work in the nursery with the little kids during service at our church, and during this time we came up with the idea of Orochimaru and Jiraiya watching over a bunch of tikes for a day, and man it was tireding. Anyway, this story isn't going to be very long but here is the first chapter! And if you're wondering, this is loosely based on what actually happened to us…AH! Other news is that today I went out and bought the movie soundtrack for Pirates of the Caribbean 2, meaning I now can listen to that music while I write! It rocks! Anyway please read and review! Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter 1**

**Daycare Sannin!**

"But Tsunade," Jiraiya pleaded as he and Orochimaru followed the blonde, wondering why she was asking them to do this stupid occupation. Tsunade only grunted, her eyes burning with annoyance as she glared at the white haired man from the corner of her eye. She wasn't asking them to do this, she was _telling _them to. This had all started the day before, all the complaints and begging, the memories coming back in a jumble…

FLASH BACK TO THE DAY BEFORE

"But Hokage sir," Tsunade grumbled, standing before the Hokage in his office, various Jounin giving her concerned glance as she crossed her arms like a stubborn child.

"I can't do this," she stated, her eyes burning with anger.

"It's your duty to this village," The Hokage said sternly, "besides; you've done this before what is so different about tomorrow?"

"I…have an appointment," Tsunade lied, seriously hating the job she was condemned to.

"Well then," the Hokage looked as though he was deep in thought, "unless you know of someone else we can get to watch over those kids you're out of luck."

"Someone else," Tsunade smirked, an idea forming in her mind as she turned to her village leader, the anger disappearing from her eyes with a look of wicked humor, "I think I know who could do it for me."

"Really," the elderly man shrugged, "who?"

"My fellow Sannin owe me a favor," Tsunade chuckled, "I'll get them to do it!"

"Are you sure about this," the Hokage gave her a questioning look, "I'm not sure if I'd trust Jiraiya and Orochimaru in a room filled with children for that long…"

"They'll be fine," Tsunade smirked, unable to resist chuckling softly to herself, "just fine…"

BACK TO TODAY (gosh that's cheesy…)

"You two owe me a favor," Tsunade growled, shoving Jiraiya forward, Orochimaru standing beside her with a sadistic grin on his pale face, "you can't talk your way out of this one!"

"But Tsunade," Jiraiya pleaded again, "I don't know a thing about looking after kids, and I think Orochimaru has some sort of restraining order against leaf village tikes."  
"That's your problem," Tsunade shrugged, "now do you get what you're supposed to do?"

"No."

"You two are complete idiots," Tsunade sighed, "but I'll explain it all again because I feel sorry for you, this is the Konoha day care center, you two have to watch over a group of kids for the day."

"Where?"

"Oh follow me will ya," Tsunade grumbled, opening a nearby door to reveal a room that would have horrified an enemy ninja. The walls were painted with bright colors to resemble a jungle, various paintings of animals covering them. The room was filled with things you'd expect any young child to find fun, bright colored toys and a child sized kitchen set. Orochimaru's eyes grew wide, wondering how children to keep them entertained with such useless things, at their age he'd already been a genin…

"Here's where you'll watch the kids," Tsunade informed them, "you guys will have to get them their lunch and take care of them until their parents come to pick them up at 4:00, got it?"

"Clear," Orochimaru nodded slowly, still wondering how she expected them to pull this off. He was practically being condemned to death, spending a day with Jiraiya in a crowded room with a bunch of mindless children. This was just asking for trouble…

"The kids should start arriving in around twenty minutes," Tsunade sighed, stepping out of the room before Jiraiya could stop her, "just keep them entertained until this afternoon!"

Jiraiya stared dumbfounded at the door, realizing his fate was sealed as he heard Tsunade's footsteps grow silent. He sighed, turning back to Orochimaru who was eying the room suspiciously, like he would an enemy. The white haired man sighed, turning to him and realizing he would just have to make the best out of this.

"It's just a room filled with harmless toys Oro," Jiraiya shook his head, "it's not like something's going to jump out at you…"

"I don't like it," Orochimaru said dryly, shaking his head and sinking into a chair nearby, "she's a fool to think nothing will go wrong."

"Tsunade just wanted to get out of this mess," Jiraiya sighed, sitting down beside his fellow Sannin, "besides, how bad can it be?"

Silence followed as the two sat against the wall, neither one feeling as though they had anything to say, simply hoping the day would pass by quickly. Finally, agitated by the growing silence, Jiraiya got the insane idea to attempt to start a conversation…oh dear…

"So Orochimaru," he said so loudly that it made his comrade jump slightly, "you got a girl friend yet?"

"I have no concern of such things," Orochimaru stated dryly, obviously having no wish to speak of such things.

"Oh come on," Jiraiya chuckled, knowing Orochimaru had never been one for the ladies, "there must be at least one good looking gal you've got your eyes on? I mean, you've got your own village, what lucky girl couldn't admire that!"

"Are you done rambling," Orochimaru snorted, not at all enlightened by his comrade's strange observations.

"Don't be so negative," Jiraiya shrugged, looking around the room in search of a certain something…

"AHA!" He exclaimed, pointing at a rather poorly painted image of a giraffe on the wall across from where they were sitting, "That giraffe would be perfect for you! I mean really, you're both single and you have sooo much in common, I mean you both have really long tongues and –"

"JIRAIYA!" Orochimaru cut him off, having no desire to hear anymore, "could you please leave me in peace!"

"Did you know that if you have Tsunade around you can cut your wrists and have her heal you only seconds before you die!" Jiraiya suddenly blurted, completely off topic(and rather morbid!), "I've done it like eight times and she's always like, "Jiraiya someday I'll just stand back and laugh as you beg for help, and I'm like yeah right and then I get to do it again!"  
Orochimaru could not find the words to say as he stared at his grinning companion, wondering how exactly he had gotten mixed into this. Jiraiya just sat there, smiling like a complete idiot as he breathed heavily from his entirely pointless outburst. Orochimaru shook his head, turning to face the other wall, only to find "his" giraffe staring back at him….


	2. the horror begins

**Insanity rise: I have like two seconds to write this so here is the next chapter, read and review please, now I have to leave so bye!**

Chapter 2

**The horror begins!**

Orochimaru and Jiraiya sat in silence as the minutes continued to float by slowly, as though the clock had somehow been pushed to an almost standstill. Orochimaru tried to keep himself busy with his thoughts, but every time his eyes drifted around the room his thoughts were shattered by the childish things around him. Scowling, he stared up at the ceiling, barely even noticing as the door creaked open. In fact, neither of them paid any notice as a small child stepped into the room, his large cerulean eyes staring at them with curiosity. It wasn't until a moment later, when Jiraiya became aware of the child, realizing he was a full ten minutes early. His lips curled into a strange smile that would have made any girl within a smile slap him, but no one but the three were in the room.

"Hi there kiddo," he grinned stupidly, noticing the distant look in the child's eyes, like he was looking right through him, "you're a little early…"

"Jiraiya," Orochimaru jabbed him in the side, nodding towards the child who appeared almost dazed. Silence followed, Jiraiya biting his lip when he realized he had no idea what to say to a child who looked as though he wanted nothing to do with them.

"Hey," he chuckled, but his tone was uneasy, "what's your name kiddo?"

"Monroe," the child said after a moment of silence, becoming quiet again as though he was thinking of what to say, "Where's my teacher?"

"She's…um…out for the day," Jiraiya shot Orochimaru a pleading glance, but it was only returned with a cruel smirk, the other man remaining in his unvoiced manner, "we're watching you for the day, My name's Jiraiya and this is Orochimaru."

"You're the crazy frog man," Monroe pointed at Jiraiya as though he was the most evil thing in the world (not to say he's the nicest either…).

"What's that supposed to mean," Jiraiya asked, wondering what these kids were being taught nowadays.

"My mommy said if I ever saw you I should hit you with a rake and run away," Monroe gawked in amazement, turning to Orochimaru, "do you have a rake?"

"If I did I'd have already hit that idiot by now," Orochimaru snickered.

"Hey Oro," Jiraiya snapped slightly, "be nice, there's a kid in here."

"I don't like you," Monroe glared at Jiraiya with his large almost otherworldly eyes. Jiraiya appeared almost taken aback, wondering how this child who he had only known for a few minutes already hated him.

"That's not very nice," Jiraiya pointed out. Silence dawned on them yet again, Jiraiya looking even more perturbed as the child continued to stare at him. He decided he would have to attempt to make a conversation if he expected to live through this day.

"So," he said in an attempted casual manner, but it was so forced that it was hardly friendly, "do you have any…pets kid?"

"I have a dog named Fluffy," Monroe said after a short pause. Jiraiya still strained for words.

"That's a nice name," Jiraiya sputtered, "is he a good dog?"

"His name is Fluffy because whenever he sees something fluffy he tears it into little shreds and buries it the refrigerator," Monroe answered in such an innocent manner that it made you wonder if he even knew what he was talking about, "mommy says when he dies he's going to-"

"Whoa…um," Jiraiya stopped him; already knowing what he was about to say, "Um…what do you like to do for fun?"

"Well," Monroe said harmlessly, "there's a certain corner in my room where I like to stand and bang my head against the wall because it get rid of all the bad thoughts…I do it quite often as a matter of fact, I wonder if there are any good corners here…"

"Nice going," Orochimaru sneered from where he sat, turning to the child with a sudden interest in his eyes, "are you some kind of miniature emo or something?"  
"I don't like you either," Monroe hissed, "I'm going to sit in that corner now."

Before Orochimaru or Jiraiya could so much as utter a single word, Monroe walked over to a corner across the room and sat down, staring at the wall as though it wasn't there. Silence followed, Jiraiya sighed and looked up at the clock, finding they only had about a minute before the other kids started showing up. He exhaled deeply, standing up and staring at the door. As if on cue, the door burst open and a crowd of children of young ages hopped into the room, squealing and jumping around as if they were on a sugar rush.

"Great," Jiraiya could have slapped himself, noticing all eyes were on him.

"Hello," a little girl with bouncy blond hair tugged on Jiraiya's shirt, clutching a tiny kitten in one of her hands that looked as though it was about to claw her to death, "are you our new teachers?"

"Unfortunately," Orochimaru grumbled from his chair, slowly rising to stand beside Jiraiya.

"Hello kiddos," Jiraiya plastered on a fake grin, "I'm Jiraiya and this is Orochimaru, and we'll be watching you for today!"


	3. The Bandaide

**Insanity rise: Hiya! I finally updated this! This chapter isn't that funny in my perspective, but thanks for all those reviews guys! I really hope you'll take the time to review this chapter too as it means a lot to me! It's been so long since I've written anything, and half of this has been sitting on my computer since summer so I thought I'd at least finish it. I hope you like it!**

* * *

Chapter 3

The Bandaide Rukes All!

"Jiraiya," Orochimaru grumbled, his words barely audible for the many children running around the room screaming like crazed animals, "get them under control!"

"What was that," Jiraiya asked, unable to make out the words as he was practically pulled to the floor by the insane children, "you're going to have to speak louder!"

"I said get them under control," Orochimaru said rather loudly, his eyes burning with agitation. Jiraiya only stared at him dumbly.

"Huh?"

"GET THESE BRATS UNDER CONTROL RIGHT NOW!" Orochimaru screamed with rage, the room practically shaking with the sound pf his voice. The room suddenly fell into a hushed silence, all eyes on the obviously agitated Sannin. Jiraiya just stood there with his mouth wide open, just like all those people in the movies!

"Right," his right eye twitched slightly, still staring. Sighing and shaking his head, he turned to the crowd of overactive children.

"Good morning kids," Jiraiya did hid best to smile, clapping his hands together loudly as though addressing a crowd, "Settle down!"

The kids all stared at him with what could have been considered stupid glances, like they wondered if they should listen to the creepy man with the crazy hair or not. The snake ninja only scared them more, these children decided. They all continued to ogle Jiraiya, a quiet cough seeming to echo in the looming silence.

"Alright then," Jiraiya gave them a more approving look, "we need to lay down some ground rules."

"Or chaos will ensue, "Orochimaru added spitefully, growling at the giraffe that seemed to enjoy staring at him with its hollow black eyes.

"Oro," Jiraiya warned, turning back to the gaping children, "alright now does any one have a pen?"

"I DO!" A rather hyper looking little girl jumped up and offered him a pen covered in pictures of kitties and a purple bandaide barely sticking to it. Jiraiya peeled the bandaide off and tossed it out the window.

Outside the window

A poor man is mowing the lawn when a strange purple object flies out of the window and right in front of him. His eyes grew wide as the lawn mower devours the item and suddenly explodes in a big, very very big, BOOM! The man stares dumbly, covered in ash while a purple bandaide falls onto his nose. He coughs slightly.

Back to the Sannin!

"I HEAR BOOM BOOM!" A little boy jumped around the room screaming, that is until he ran into the wall. Orochimaru chuckled, receiving a dark glare from Jiraiya. Jiraiya turned back to the children(having no idea of the damage he had just cuased)

"Well then," he took a piece of paper from his pocket, "first of all-"

"AH!" The hyper girl squealed, her eyes welling with tears, "where is Mr. Miff Miff?"

"Mr…what," Jiraiya's right eye twitched, having no clue what the child was talking about.

"My bandaide you dummy," the girl cried, "I want Mr. Miff Miff back!"

"It's okay-"

"MR. MIFF MIFF!"

Orochimaru's facial expression: O.O

"Okay okay calm down," Jiraiya gave a tense smile, shoving his hand into his pocket. The children watched as he searched about in his pocket for something they didn't know of. Finally he smiled dumbly, Orochimaru just rolled his eyes.

"Here you go," Jiraiya smiled, handing the girl a shiny blue paperclip(watch it people those things are worth millions), "Isn't that better than some dumb bandaide."

"Oh," The girl clapped her hands, "I'll call it Miff Miff the Second…wait….Mr. Miff Miff I miss youuuuuuuuuuu!"

"Blast it I almost had it," Jiraiya slapped himself in the face.

" Excuse me mister," a "expensive" looking boy with large glasses stepped up to Jiraiya, "but I do believe it is time for you to take roll."

"Oh," Jiraiya gritted his teeth, "okay."

The boy pointed to a clipboard sitting nearby. Jiraiya waded through the flood of children to the paper and glanced at the long list of names. He took the pen in his hand, and turned to the crowd to address them.

"Alright, Is Billie McGilly here?"

"Here," a boy with messy brown hair and a missing tooth waved his hand hysterically. Jiraiya sighed.

"Okay, how about Clarice Banks?"

"Here I am," the same girl with the kitten smiled, hugging to kitten (that appeared to be choking by the way) even tighter. Jiraiya couldn't stifle a pang of sorrow for the gasping feline. He then called out a very long list of names, receiving a "here" or a "yeah" from each child, finally he reached the end.

"Alright," he announced, "if anyone isn't here say "not here" or I will assume you are all present."

There was a dead silence.

"Good Jiraiya smiled, for once he was getting somewhere, "now then let us get started, what do you kids usually do first?"

"I know I know," one girl raised her hand. Jiraiya nodded at her. She squealed with glee( a sound Jiraiya seems to be hearing quite often today)

"Normally we go outside and play first," she announced. Jiraiya couldn't help but wonder if that was such a good idea, but nonetheless, he couldn't break the usual schedule. He just hoped Orochimaru would start playing his part, instead sitting lazily in a chair like he was now. If he kept that up, Jiraiya had to wonder if he would even see tomorrow. Sighing, he gave Orochimaru a quick side glance.

"Alrighty I guess that will work, "he sighed, "come one then."

"YAY!" The children cheered as they were led out the door by the Sannin, Orochimaru simply dragged on behind. Jiraiya followed the children out the front door for they obviously knew where they were going, spotting a large playground only a short distance away. As he walked down the front steps, a man with burnt hair and his front covered in burnt ash stepped up to him. Jiraiya gave him a confused look. The man glared at him, and walked off(oh where's his mower now eh?)

"What'd I do," Jiraiya asked in exasperation, realizing this day wasn't ending anytime soon…


End file.
